Speak up your mind: don't act like the victim; don't blame others: "Blame It On Me!"

What is there really to stop one from speaking up about what is on one's mind? An imaginary barrier? A background of oppression? Fear of being wrong? Repeating a mistake that has cost one dearly? Pain and agony of one's own existence? Identity crisis? Or is it the corrupting society that is to blame for this disability of not being able to speak up what is on one's mind?

Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712-1778) followed the two Englishmen Thomas Hobbes (1588-1679) and John Locke (1632-1704) in attempting to understand what the nature of Man is. Hobbes had famously argued in his magnum opus Leviathan that Man is by nature evil or prone to self-preservation, and in so Man would do everything in his power to destroy everyone around at his natural state. Locke's liberal approach defined that Man is not evil by nature, thus, if he continues hereby following the natural laws that are associated with every human being and his property. Rousseau answered this by conducting that, by all accounts, Man is good and partly virtuous as well as free by nature, and that in reality, it is society and other human beings which have corrupted the Man who is by nature good.

What can we then take from these three philosophers? From Hobbes, we may understand that if we are prone to working against ourselves and the goodwill of others we may therefore also be prone to devaluing ourselves. In so it could explain our problem to speak what is on our minds. By Locke's view on human nature, I cannot see any evidence that we would not be able to speak up unless of course, we were afraid of hurting others or feeling a sense of guilt or anguish that we would be, in fact, selfish and egoistic in speaking what is on our mind. By Rousseau's view, we would rather have to blame others or society and the objectivity of life as a whole. But really that would be the bliss of ignorance at its worst. In blaming others, we would, in reality, be the egoist. Paradoxically we may look at this both in Rousseau's way and in opposition. Firstly, the corruption of society could be that of the trigger or indicator that we act selfishly, and instead of taking account of our own problems, we rely on blaming others. Secondly, one could argue that the egoistic element is in the action itself of blaming others and must therefore also be inherent inside us as an intrinsic value and quality, and that, in reality, society is nothing more than an unexplainable concept just like metaphysics, it neither exists nor does not exist, yet it is a concept which we do understand; perhaps it is actually a transcendental a priori.

Enough of the abstractive and deep thoughts, let's look at the issue from a more aesthetic perspective. Let's attempt to understand the behavior of acting like that of being the victim and that of blaming everyone else but oneself. It would certainly be easier to understand these concepts with a concrete example. Let's say that at first sight, everything seems good for Rita but when the odds turn against her she just snaps. In her mind, there are two options, looking inwards or outwards. Furthermore, both options have additional dimensions of truthness. When looking inwards she may look at what the problem truly is or she may see just what she wants to see. Why? I know. This is just one of the human characteristics of self-harming behavior. Nonetheless, if she was instead prone to the behavior of looking outward, just by the habit of it, she would already be in a state of denial. When looking outwards you are destined to a long road of lies and self-betrayal. You see, just like taking the first step into the unknown, by taking the initial step or look outwards and by attempting to build a foundation on that falsity, that is, avoiding the one thing you know better than anyone and that which is primarily in the control of your free will and rationality; yourself; you will get constantly lost in the whirlwind. Would it not be time to let the empirical sing herself to sleep while you sneak past the borderline territories and arrive at the lands of self-reflection? ---

The mic is yours. What would you do? Who are you really scared of, the audience or yourself?

--- Alright, first of why do people play the victim? Why is the victim mentality inbred in most of us in some varying magnitude? This kind of behavior can be present in several ways. It can be simply a question of acting like a martyr for your deeds and efforts that go unnoticed or are underappreciated. Or it can be a self-defense mechanism one has acquired in her lifetime of tragedies, injustice, betrayals, and misfortunes. One simply does not trust oneself to get through the adversity of being in dire straits. It seems easier to give up and plead the victim card. But honestly, we all have our struggles, our highs and lows, and we would not manage to get through them if we could not trust our will. When you are filled with doubt about your self-worth and uncertain of the unfairness the world has demonstrated towards you a logical solution seems to be to act like the victim.

Regarding the act of blaming everyone but oneself as we already concluded is behaviorally founded in the falsity of either denying the inward reality or miscomprehending the importance of the inward, subjectivity. Avoiding responsibility yet expecting others to do their part has the same fundamental as blaming others. Something so obvious can become unnoticeable in a moment of madness. After all, they say that the human has a behavioral complex to put images, symbols, and thoughts in place to support existing beliefs, rather than that of evidence that supports the contrary.

Both of these behavioral types are a reflection of a human being reluctant and uncertain of taking responsibility. In no way am I attempting to deny that the world has never done any wrongdoings against humanity or the individual. After all, we were not born purposefully and were devoid of any meaning. There was no black and white. We were born clueless. Before the arrival of God, of course. No matter if you are religious or not you can understand the irony in how convenient the arrival of religion and beliefs was. The story of Jesus dying for our sins mercilessly explains the severity of our situation. It does not seem to be justified to act like a crybaby and martyr for our everyday struggles in comparison to what Jesus Christ sacrificed himself for. If you would deny the sacrifice of Christ you would not be any more justified to act like the victim because there would not be any criteria on which one could righteously declare oneself above everyone and as the first martyr against the unfair world. Who are you to deem the world unfair? Who are you to take the easy way out and then ask it to be deemed as a sacred act and expect the earnest respect of humanity? Christ did not ask to be sacrificed for our sins but he understood the severity of our sins and took the responsibility for his own choices. Abraham did not question God's orders to sacrifice his son Isaac because he knew that avoiding the inevitable and denying reality or responsibility would do no good. Ironically he, therefore, did not speak up his mind vocally but rather in deeds, nor did Jesus cry on judgment day, he knew the knowledge he possessed, and his rhetoric preachings had served his words well. Take responsibility for yourself. Speak up your mind in acts and words, not as a victim of an unfair world or corrupted by your fellow companions of the struggles of life and despair.

What I am attempting to say is that the one thing that is in our control, that is, ourselves, must be the origin of every intrinsical value and will empowered behavior. We are the center of judgment. We are the act. We are, therefore, also the master of our own fate. We choose to act, in regard with virtue or sinfully, not so much in the act itself, rather we choose what we deem to be a virtue or sin, regardless of how much impact other factors such as society, culture, religion, knowledge, education, science, and fellow human beings have. At the end of the day, we will always have the final say. Even in the face of death, we do indeed have the final say. Even when everything seems hopeless and death is inevitable in front of an Einsatzgruppen (SS) firing squad you have the final say. You may decide to laugh at the irony of death. Why bother crying? You may as well imagine dining with Odin, Thor, and Heimdall in Valhalla.

Don't they say that with others around whom we trust, we become more courageous?

Quickly one could attempt to devise a master plan to defeat all of the words spoken in this blog by shouting: "aren't we better of with others around". But for the sake of avoiding total embarrassment just look at life and death, they do not take each other out of the equation, rather they are an eternal circle, hence, it is called the circle of life. For life to exist or be reborn someone has to die. For death to take life one must live.

Oh, what I have forgotten to mention is that what is even more dangerous than blaming others is blaming yourself. Living consciously while being aware of your failings is only a successful way of living as long as it does not overwhelm you or torment thee. When your shortcomings and deficiencies and your failures turn into a sense of guilt, the self-reflective human being is not any more triumphant than the human being not able to take responsibility and the human being who blames everyone but oneself. So, one could certainly say that balance is of the essence. Perhaps this is the most obvious indicator that life is suffering, but not by the oppression of a capitalist society, that is, the Marxist argument, on the contrary, the suffering of life is avoiding inwardness or the commitment to embracing the subjective truth.

Finally, after taking inspiration from Imagine Dragons' new album Mercury - Act 1 and their new song It's Ok we may conclude today's blog. The definition of mercurial by Oxford Languages is something subject to sudden or unpredictable changes of mood or mind. One may have a mercurial temperament. It's Ok begins with a crucial sentiment of the self-harming behavior of fearing to speak. Overwhelmed by anxiety and insecurities found inside her, she turns outward to blame and withholding tears whispers: "nobody hears me".

Verse I:

She could always hear every word they say

Everybody walks like they just know the way

Every single day holding back the tears

She'd never say a word 'cause there's nobody that hears

Everything is summarized perfectly by the simplicity, yet ever so striking Chorus:

It's okay to be not okay

It's just fine to be out of your mind

Breathe in deep, just a day at a time

'Cause it's okay to be out of your mind, mind

It's Ok - Spotify

By the way, I am not sponsored in any way but there are three other songs on the album that are current and relate to today's blog fabulously, that is, My Life, #1, Easy Come Easy Go.

Basically, I am trying to message you that it's OK to be not OK, but don't let it stop you. Never let anyone silence you, not even yourself. On one hand, you must take responsibility, you cannot expect anyone else to speak on your behalf, and on the other hand, you can neither let yourself be absorbed by self-centrism nor allow the influence of others to become a dependency instead of your intrinsic courageousness to speak what is on your mind.

"My dear, embrace your subjectivity."

Oliver Kuivasto, O.K