top of page
Writer's pictureAye Ego

Friendship is a Lie; the worst of them all

Oh, you must be mistaken! That is something only a fool like you would dare to state. I'm certain that I'm yet again at the truth of the matter. Needless to say, you will not change my mind. —Aye Ego.



In a whirlwind the flow is above insanity in strength, but below the level of sanity required for a conscious mind. What is then the intermediate for the flow of a whirlwind?


What goes for friendship is precisely the issue with the intermediate of a whirlwind. Thus, if it is not chaos or order, must it not be the balance? But what does it balance, anyhow? Does it give peace of mind? Stimulate the sensuality and social animal the human is? Is it the spring of joyfulness and the end of despair when the "one last breath" comes? Or is it merely covering the one truth and meaningfulness all humans possess at the end of the day, that is, despair?


This contradiction, that is Friendship, one of the best, I dedicated to be called with kind regards as Friendship Sarcasmo. Pronounced "freend", you know. Let me present it with a short statement and a couple of letters revealing just how deceitful my friend is. Now he may never dare to call such affairs as Friendship or regard me as a friend, nor will I regard him ever again as a friend. He never was one nor desired or deserved to be. I wish him to rotten in eternal misery.


Friendship Sarcasmo

Oh God, I am faced with a soulless proposition, which on all accounts must be deemed ridicule, that is, the contradiction regarding Friendship. I think it must be a joke. Or maybe friendship is the joke itself. I heard it; they say: A friend is a friend. A friend to none is no friend at all. The friend of a friend is the lost one. The friend of a friends none is a deceived one. But the friend of a dear, a dear friend is actually no friend at all, after all, is she not a deer? Then they shouted: What is the opposite of a friend? I do not mean a foe for he is merely the enemy in regards to opposites. I asked: who is at convenience as well as at the necessity both the claimant of having a friend as well as the receiver of friendship? You would not dare to assume that friendship is a mutual beneficiary, would you? There may be two absolutely equal and identical sticks in a cup, but the reality and nature of things do not come as such. There is simply no such nature as equality. I commend: Look at birth! Alas - you still do not understand...

P.M


Letter to a fool,

it must have been worth nothing, you provoking fucker. But I desire to know, how did you not feel a thing, do you feel the apathy or do you have no emotions at all? How could you be everything I needed in support and guidance, yet masterfully deceive me and leave me at the doorsteps of hell?

Stay in hell, with kind regards to the limb-sucking antelope,

P.M


Distasteful! I pronounce you Dead to me. I was kind enough to not allow you to be part of the decision to not give you any false signs of validity. You are after all nothing but nothing. Pain but pain. Rotten in hell is your destiny. Hatred for you is my destiny for a short time. Already I am over you. Treacherous bitch is what you are! P.M


What have I done in trusting you? How could I be such an ignorant idiot and gullible fool? You always hinted at the possibility with your body movement and involuntary signs. You looked, and then you did not. You gave, and then you instantly left. Always halfway there for me, for everyone, and no one at all. I remember asking you once who you loved the most? Your answer was denial and "I do not know". If you had simply said Charlotte or me, I would have known that you were selfish. If you had said yourself, you would have been selfless. But when you said nothing of importance the red flag should have risen. You see, you did not even mean anything to yourself, yet you believed you did. P.M


I know not to forgive you–but I know also very well that in the end, the human is always human. But the end is also the END! P.M


What shall I do then? If I cannot forgive, yet I long to be there for you...

P.M


Oh, beautiful the misery of life is. It truly is. Gorgeous! Pretty and messy. You know, you sometimes just know, who is going to be there and who is not. The real question is: why can we not listen to ourselves? Simply, evil corrupts our precious minds and overwhelms all the good surrounding us. There is only so much a good friend can do before he may as well become evil. Even David could not fight a thousand Goliath's. One is simply, enough. P.M


I asked once God: what must difficulty be if everything seems to be difficult? What is there then left to be truly difficult? I asked once Mom: Am I your favorite? She plainly denied it, but I knew it, she could never stand me. Lastly, I asked once, remark me, to be at Jesus' feet with a Christ bleeding between my legs. I thought people would find it humorous or insane, or perhaps even fanatical, or at worst somewhat mad, but NO. No, No, No! Nobody laughed. Nobody watched me in distaste. No one thought me deranged. They just did not care.

I cried hysterically that night. No one cared at all. Brother, or my lost brother, may I ask, deeply regretful as I am, will you forgive me for not caring at all?

P.M


My friend, my friend, my treacherous friend,


I have to regretfully inform you of my decision to take my life. I have realized that while you were nothing when I ask myself why I searched for something in a friend that is nothing, there could have only been two alternatives, either I was everything and there was nothing more to find, or I was nothing and therefore I could never find anything. As you see fit, I would not mind you taking the same realization as "I", you can probably guess which alternative I chose.


PS. I will probably do it by shooting a bullet to my head since it is quicker. I heard doing it with your wrist is doubtful and rarely successful, you know. I am the carnival.


To my beloved P.M

 

Did you seriously think that I would use the same method to get you while your pants were down? Twice in a row! Did you actually hold me as such a fool? You are the Mad One! The wonderful in this is that I would have used the same method to conceive myself. So how will you ever know if I lured you twice in a row? And then let you fall into the pit twice over the twice. I may have lied; I may have always lied. But I also may have been honest and truthful all of the time, or most of the time. Humorous it truly is, because you will never truly know. Do you fathom these facts? Do you understand? Have I proved a point?


I have always thought that only partly may opportunities arise and appear, but mostly they have to be forged. So, what is left then is to take every opportunity you have got, making the most out of it. Build a life, in the most complete sense possible. Find things you love; find persons you love. Love yourself as much as you can. Do not get overwhelmed, there is going to be difficulty ahead. There is going to be temptation and adversity. But own the courage and resilience you possess, so, you may overcome almost anything. Find Friendship, but be careful, you may never know who one truly is. But you will always know when the Right Ones are at your door. –Aye Ego "Peace upon the martyrs of the World. And fuck the fuckers, you will not be missed. Leave the good to be, to just be..."




64 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


Inlägg: Blog2 Post
bottom of page